Steve Frey
Some of you Bobcats, Blue Demons, Bruins, Cougars, Eagles and many other fantastic people will all have something in common in a matter of days: You will be graduating from high school!
You are going to get all kinds of advice from Uncle Willie and Meemaw Coralee, and it’s all going to be good. Heck, you might even get advice from Mr. McGuire, who will pull you aside at a graduation party and tell you to remember just one thing: “Plastics!” (Ask your parents or grandparents—they may recall the reference.)
Graduation is very special, so take some time and really experience it. Look around and check out all of the proud parents and relatives, but focus mostly on YOUR parents. They love you and have had your best interests in mind for about 18 years. No matter what that latest argument was about—curfew, the car, or cleaning your room—you should remember that they have always done their best to help you be successful—and always will.
Now check out all of the teachers and staff. They also helped mold you into the person you are today. The teachers, however, are representing more than just your high school teachers; they embody all of your teachers. Those other teachers might not be there in person, but they are with you in spirit.
There’s Mrs. Brown, who helped you finally master the multiplication tables in fourth grade. There’s Mr. Thompson, who taught you a lesson in fifth grade about being kind to others you’ll never forget.
Then there’s Mrs. Evans, who was there in first grade when you finally cracked the code for reading, and you grinned so broadly the brightness must have gotten in her eyes because she had to turn away a second to hide her tears.
Yeah, they’re all there.
One more thing about graduation—really listen to your Alma Mater song. Think about the words as you sing. It may be the last time you’ll hear it, and it is about you; it’s about your friends; it’s about your school.
It’s about all of the people who came before you and sat on that football field or in that auditorium.
Now for some “lightning round” advice you may or may not get from Meemaw.
Live your life problem- and worry-free. This is hardest, so it’s coming first. If you can somehow come to see problems as learning opportunities, you will save yourself a lot of time worrying.
The Dalai Lama once said, “If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.”
Your pastor might share 1 Peter 5:7: “Cast all your worries upon Him because He cares for you.”
The point is, if you can look at something without attaching a mind full of worry to it, you can learn from it and let it go.
Every problem is an opportunity to learn, grow and become a better person. Again, this is a lot easier said than done, but it’s a goal worth trying to attain.
Okay, here’s a second big idea. You have learned right from wrong at home, commandments and parables in church and a fine-tuning of the Golden Rule and character-building lessons in school. You are ready to join a divided world as an adult.
You will have to use all of the wisdom you have accumulated to make hard decisions. When you make those decisions, think about what is right based on what you have been taught. When in doubt, choose kindness and compassion.
Again, this is a lot easier said than done because you are going to be pulled in different directions in many situations.
You are going to hear arguments where people will say anything to get you to agree. They will tear others down, use false equivalence, and even slant the facts. They will say that if you’re one of us, you’ll join us and do what we want.
Do your homework and get the facts. Think hard. Do the right thing.
Next, decide on a career that you find personally rewarding. Some of you have known what that is from a very young age. You wanted to be a teacher or an engineer or a mechanic. Great!
But some of you may not know what you want to do yet. That’s okay, too. Remember, about 75 percent of people change their major in college before graduating.
You may be joining the military or going on to community college for a trade or starting a job right out of high school. Don’t be surprised if you decide it’s not for you, and you want to try something different. It’s okay!
Finally, you are a “good” person. Don’t let the world change that. Remember, we are all part of this beautiful universe, and we all have similar hopes, needs and dreams.
Think about other people, be modest, do your best, never give up and treat everyone, regardless of whether they live in your hometown or come from halfway across the world, with that kindness and compassion that came up earlier.
Good people draw other good people to them. They act as role models for others. They are the happiest with their lives in the long run. They really are.
Life is short, so don’t spend it worrying; do the right thing; find something rewarding to do, and be a good person.
Everything else will work out just fine.
You see, you are really fortunate. You have your whole life ahead of you. So make it YOUR life, and make it count for something so that 50 years from now, it will make you not just proud of what you’ve accomplished, but happy.
And don’t forget, wherever you may go, you have people right here, the very people surrounding you at graduation—friends, relatives, and school staff—who care about you and love you.
Contrary to that novel by Thomas Wolfe, you really can go home again.
And home is where the heart is!
Steve Frey is a writer and CEO of Ascendant Educational Services based in Radford.
